Once a month, for the last 15 months, I have been writing about various aspects of polyamory for a blogging project I set up called Poly Means Many. But, although poly means many, that doesn't necessarily mean that all polyamorous people have many partners. After all, if you're single, you don't stop being straight. If... Continue Reading →
Only monogamy equals commitment?
One of the common misconceptions about nonmonogamous (including polyamorous) folk, is that they can't commit. If they really loved someone, they'd stop all this nonsense. If we were really committed to a relationship, we simply wouldn't have others. And, of course, you can't possibly be committed to more than one person at a time, right?... Continue Reading →
Definitions of non-monogamy
Over the weekend, Hella Walkington blogged about monogamy, polygamy and polyamory. She asked me to write a little bit for it and, I have to say, I was a bit surprised by her inclusion of the word polygamy. I have never met anyone who would describe themselves as polygamous, and wasn't even sure what it... Continue Reading →
Feminism Friday: Non-traditional relationships
When I dare to venture outside of the bubble I live in with my awesome open-minded friends - both on and offline - the amount of misogyny that crops up can be pretty baffling. We're living in the twenty-first century now, yet some of these people act like it's still 1950 and they don't even... Continue Reading →
Friends, metamours and other non-lovers
There are many more people involved in a polyamorous set-up than you might think. Many people can view polyamory just in terms of the romantic and/or sexual relationships that you have - What, like, two girlfriends? - but it is actually so much more than that. Everyone focuses on their lovers, but what about the... Continue Reading →
Poly means many, amor means love
Everyone knows what love is. That warm feeling you get simply because another person exists. The joy you get from having that person around. Pretty much everyone knows what romantic love feels like too. That person you feel unbelievably happy to be around and also extremely sad to be parted from. A person whose happiness... Continue Reading →
How does polyamory work day-to-day?
If you've been keeping up with all the Poly Means Many posts so far, by now you'll have a pretty good idea of how non-monogamous relationships work in theory. But we all know that putting a theory into practise can be tricky, especially where relationships are concerned! After all, people rarely do what we expect... Continue Reading →
Who needs relationship rules and boundaries?
When I was monogamous, I rarely thought about rules within relationships. Other than the standard 'no cheating' which is pretty much a given for monogamous relationships - although definitions of cheating may vary - I was happy to go with the flow. Boundaries shifted as each relationship progressed, and much of this was unspoken. However,... Continue Reading →
Relationships: Public vs private
Speaking openly about being in a non-traditional relationship is a tricky thing. On the one hand, I want other people to understand that, while it may not be for everyone, it works well for us and is not really all that strange. On the other hand, I value my privacy and don't want to upset... Continue Reading →
What do I want? What do I need?
As with many topics relating to non-monogamous relationships, this one also applies to monogamous ones. It's just that complicated relationship structures usually involve much more... of everything. More needs, more wants, and more problems arising from unmet or unidentified needs/wants. Everyone should take time to look at what they want and/or need from their relationship(s)... Continue Reading →