One of the common misconceptions about nonmonogamous (including polyamorous) folk, is that they can't commit. If they really loved someone, they'd stop all this nonsense. If we were really committed to a relationship, we simply wouldn't have others. And, of course, you can't possibly be committed to more than one person at a time, right?... Continue Reading →
Gay, straight, bi… poly?
Some people describe being poly as an orientation, whereas others feel it is simply a matter of personal choice. To be perfectly honest, when the Poly Means Many bloggers chose this topic for November's posts, I hadn't really given the idea much thought. My first instinct was that I already have an orientation and I... Continue Reading →
‘I couldn’t do it. I’m too jealous’
'I couldn't do it. I'm too jealous'. So ends most discussions I have about nonmonogamy. Like the pin that bursts the conversational balloon, bring up 'jealousy' and the chat comes to a grinding halt. I even, this morning, witnessed a young woman on Twitter say she's not ready for another (monogamous) relationship since she's too... Continue Reading →
I’ve been missing you
You might think that polyamory is amazing all of the time but, sadly, you'd be wrong. As with other types of relationship, there are bad times as well as good. As far as I'm concerned, the good times more than make up for the bad, but it would be remiss of me to never mention... Continue Reading →
Definitions of non-monogamy
Over the weekend, Hella Walkington blogged about monogamy, polygamy and polyamory. She asked me to write a little bit for it and, I have to say, I was a bit surprised by her inclusion of the word polygamy. I have never met anyone who would describe themselves as polygamous, and wasn't even sure what it... Continue Reading →
Feminism Friday: Non-traditional relationships
When I dare to venture outside of the bubble I live in with my awesome open-minded friends - both on and offline - the amount of misogyny that crops up can be pretty baffling. We're living in the twenty-first century now, yet some of these people act like it's still 1950 and they don't even... Continue Reading →
Poly means many, amor means love
Everyone knows what love is. That warm feeling you get simply because another person exists. The joy you get from having that person around. Pretty much everyone knows what romantic love feels like too. That person you feel unbelievably happy to be around and also extremely sad to be parted from. A person whose happiness... Continue Reading →
Who needs relationship rules and boundaries?
When I was monogamous, I rarely thought about rules within relationships. Other than the standard 'no cheating' which is pretty much a given for monogamous relationships - although definitions of cheating may vary - I was happy to go with the flow. Boundaries shifted as each relationship progressed, and much of this was unspoken. However,... Continue Reading →
Relationships: Public vs private
Speaking openly about being in a non-traditional relationship is a tricky thing. On the one hand, I want other people to understand that, while it may not be for everyone, it works well for us and is not really all that strange. On the other hand, I value my privacy and don't want to upset... Continue Reading →
What do I want? What do I need?
As with many topics relating to non-monogamous relationships, this one also applies to monogamous ones. It's just that complicated relationship structures usually involve much more... of everything. More needs, more wants, and more problems arising from unmet or unidentified needs/wants. Everyone should take time to look at what they want and/or need from their relationship(s)... Continue Reading →