The A-to-Z of Sex Toys: Restraint

With the help of the lovely ladies at Lovehoney, I have begun to discover that there is a sex toy for every bit of fun you can think of, and a whole load more that you can’t. Each week I shall look at a different category of sex toys but, like my last A-to-Z, they won’t always be quite what you think. As you might imagine, all links are NSFW!

Restraining a partner so you can have your wicked way with them, or having your own movement restricted during sex can be incredibly erotic. You don’t need to have a massive fetish for all things kinky to get something out of it either. If the global obsession with Fifty Shades of Grey has proved anything, it’s that an awful lot of people are far more interested in this sort of play than you would think. So, now you know you’re not alone, where do you get started for bondage?

An easy way to begin using some form of restraint with your partner is to try something like handcuffs. Simple and straightforward, everyone knows how they work so they’re a good first toy. There are many fancy dress versions that don’t need keys but, if you’re absolutely sure you won’t lose them, lockable versions offer a more realistic predicament. If that feels a bit too heavy or scary for a first try, you could always opt for coloured bondage tape which sticks to itself, despite not actually being sticky. This stuff is easy to use and remove – you can even wrap it around yourself to make a single use blindfold or outfit. This is just the beginning though. For a quick but helpful intro to restraint, check out Lovehoney’s bedroom bondage techniques for beginners. They also stock some good kits for newbies, like the Tease Me Beginner’s Bondage Kit which contains restraints, a blindfold and a flogger. As the reviewer of that product notes, you don’t have to use the flogger, but it could be quite exciting knowing that it’s there.

Lovehoney have also produced an exceedingly pretty Fifty Shades of Grey range of toys which, as you might imagine, contains its fair share of restraints. The deluxe wrist tie is gorgeous, and the beginner’s bondage kit is a good starter set. If you’re new to all this and don’t like the garish colours often associated with mainstream products, then this is definitely for you. But what if you’re not a beginner? Well, I suspect I don’t have to instruct those who are regulars of their local kink scene, but there are a fair few toys available that will take you from cuffs and velcro straps through to leather arm binders and suspension bondage. Toys that allow you to be creative are the best for intermediate play, so that you can find out what you like and how you like it. If you’re not terribly good with knots, giant twist ties are fantastic for binding limbs to themselves or to furniture. However, if you’ve always been good with your hands, you could try some Shibari rope (which comes in cotton and hemp varieties). There are many fantastic books on Japanese rope bondage which show how beautiful it can be whilst also providing some handy tips to recreate what you can see in the pictures. Play safely and the options are endless.

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