When I dare to venture outside of the bubble I live in with my awesome open-minded friends – both on and offline – the amount of misogyny that crops up can be pretty baffling. We’re living in the twenty-first century now, yet some of these people act like it’s still 1950 and they don’t even realise they’re doing it. Seemingly small assumptions, remarks and actions can have a massive effect, even if it’s just to make you look like a douchebag. That’s why it’s always important for anyone who identifies as feminist to highlight any bullshit sexism they see/hear and make people think about it.
This week, the discussion of polyamory has been on my mind again, as the lovely Amanda has done a little bit more to increase awareness of non-traditional relationships by speaking to 4thought about her views on poly. Pondering what the reactions might be from people who watch it reminded me of the comments on This Morning when the topic was discussed, and the reaction to the Guardian piece that our photo accompanied… which has led me to a bit of a feminist rant.
Why is it that, if a woman is in a non-traditional relationship set-up where there is at least one male partner, many people assume that she’s being taken advantage of? We can explain until we’re blue in the face that this is all consensual, but these folk still assume that we’re deluding ourselves. Apparently, the man is getting all his needs fulfilled while us girls are secretly in tears that he’s shagging around. I guess it’s leftover from the classic idea that only men cheat in monogamous relationships (untrue) and that a heterosexual partnership automatically means that the man’s in charge.
Forgetting about gender for a second, do you really think that someone who says to the entire nation “this is how I live my life and it completely works for me” is lying? If a man said it, would you assume that he was telling the truth? If so, I would like to call you on your bullshit sexism. Now go to your room and think about what you’ve done.