If you’ve been following me on Twitter lately, you will have seen that I had the pleasure of being shortlisted for an Erotic Award. Taking place at the annual Night of the Senses charity event, The Erotic Awards were set up in 1994 to “honour the Stars in the Erotic Universe”and have been run by volunteers as a charity fundraiser ever since. Talented influential sex-positive folk are nominated by the public and then judged by the Erotic Awards’ Grand Jury, so I was thrilled to be told I was a finalist in the Writer category – along with FridayAM and Zoe Margolis – and arrived at Night of the Senses with a great deal of excitement for the awards ceremony. I had been described on the website thus:
Lori Smith writes on her blog Rarely Wears Lipstick, is the Sex & Relationships writer for BitchBuzz, and has contributed to various blogs, sites and conferences as an expert in sex, media and personalised style. An activist for positive non-monogamous and polyamorous relationships, she has been featured in The Guardian and on the radio* speaking about her orientation and lifestyle, and empowers others to do so through a blog series on her site. Also a performer, event producer, and feminist, Lori Smith is a multi-talented maven to watch!
When you put it all together, it sounds quite impressive. I felt honoured! Although the golden flying penis trophy went to the rather wonderful Zoe in the end, it was fantastic to be a finalist and surrounded by so many inspirational and sex-positive people at the event itself. In case you weren’t already aware of it, I should also tell you that Night of the Senses raises money for Outsiders. Initially developed as a safe community for people with a wide range of physical and social disabilities, who are looking to enjoy life to the full, Outsiders has since evolved into an international authority on disability, sex and relationships. What better way to raise money for such a worthy cause than with an inclusive and accessible night of safe consensual exploration, eh?
One important aspect of sex-positivity is often the language we use. It’s good practice to make sure people feel included and that no one is made to feel ashamed or embarrassed by anything they enjoy doing with their own body. It was brought to my attention last week that some of the language I use on Twitter might seem inappropriate for someone who claims to be sex-positive, so I thought I’d take a moment to do a teeny bit of explaining, with a more detailed post to follow. If you see me refer to something as dirty or filthy, chances are I think that’s a very good thing indeed. Sex is often a very messy business indeed, and the things that many folk used to refer to as ‘dirty’ are now the things many of us consider to be the most fun! In addition, many members of the fetish community have reclaimed the word pervert to take the power away from people who would use it as an insult. After all, being naughty is oh so nice!
*That was the rather wonderful Amanda Jones, actually.
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