Review: Barelesque

On Wednesday 12th October 2011, the Royal Vauxhall Tavern played host to a raucous bunch of ladies who, along with their friends, were hoping to raise lots of money for LGBT homeless charity the Albert Kennedy Trust. As I mentioned last month, I was delighted to be chosen as one of those girls by the main organiser, Tal Younis. So I rocked up to the venue mid-afternoon in order to take part in the rehearsals for the second part of the show… the lingerie auction.

Upstairs at the RVT was a blur of lace, satin, corsets and naked flesh as the performers and models jostled for space, so I grabbed the Playful Promises bra that my burlesque alter-ego Miss Lolly Pops had been allocated and then headed back downstairs to find the spectacularly organised Barelesque stage manager, Sarah Cook.

Rubyyy Jones, photographed by Echo Moss at BarelesqueThe line up of performers was very impressive. Burlesque bad girl Honey Schnapps started the evening as a gentleman who transforms into a whirling she-devil, and then we just kept on whirling! Opera diva Michelle Crozier stunned us all with a rather dominant Carmen, and British Heart invited quite a lot of audience participation for his cheeky burlesque performance. Ernesto Sarezale charmed us all with some divine naked poetry, and that was after Ali Brumfitt had used poetry and some melted chocolate to tell us why sex is far far better than anything made by Cadbury. Yes, nudity and smut was very much on the menu for the evening so the two saucy performances from Rubyyy Jones fitted right in. Not only did we get to see her Erotic Award nominated act “I Wanna B”, but she also debuted a fantastic new piece in front of the Barelesque audience. Burlesque based on Skype sex in skinny jeans? Inspired!

British Heart, photographed by Echo Moss at BarelesqueAfter all of the wonderful performances, a super-quick sale of Rubyyy Jones’ delicious cuntcakes, and a bit of a clean up that was needed after Ms Brumfitt and British Heart’s rather messy acts, it was time for our host – the outrageous Mat Fraser – to get the crowd ready to part with even more of their money. It was time for the lingerie auction! There were ten models for this part of the show, each taking the characters of one of the infamous Seven Deadly Sins or the three virtues: Faith, Hope and Charity. I opened this part of the show with Miss Lolly Pops’ interpretation of Hope – a cheerful jaunt through the audience to the stage, offering sweeties as I went. Once I was standing in my undies under the bright lights Mat started the bidding and, before long, I was leaving the stage bra-less but having done my bit for charity. I hope the barman wasn’t too sad to have lost out in the bidding war!

Ana Morphic, photographed by Echo Moss at BarelesqueI was followed by a super-sleepy Sloth in Sh! pants, Avarice and Greed in more Playful Promises skimpies (not always worn in the most conventional way!), Envy in Kiss Me Deadly knickers, Charity who wanted to give away “All of Me”, and Wrath who frightened the hell out of everyone in an electric blue Vollers corset from Sh! plus a rather impressive and x-rated ‘accessory’. Every woman left the stage rather more naked than she started and, much to the delight of the representatives of the charity, every item that was auctioned off seemed to raise more and more money.

In the final part of the auction, MC Sexpest told everyone “you can’t touch this” and had a bit of help from Honey Schnapps to illustrate this point. Mat Fraser went the extra mile to help sell the goodies that this particular sin was wearing so big thanks to him for that one. Just when we thought that none of us had any energy or money left, the final two models helped to get us excited all over again. Everyone reached out and touched a rather delectable Faith as she was carried to the stage to the sound of Marilyn Manson, and then we were seduced by the delicious Tal as everyone’s favourite sin, Lust. An amazing night was had by all and we definitely left with lighter wallets and purses than when we went in because a total of 2,476.18 was raised by Barelesque for the Albert Kennedy Trust! There’s going to be another in six months time. Hope to see you there!

These images from Barelesque of Miss Lolly Pops, Rubyyy Jones, British Heart and Ana Morphic were taken by Echo Moss.

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