Now that I’m happy and confident in myself, it can sometimes be difficult to remember how I was before I achieved this. Telling someone that they look great, and should be content just the way they are, rarely works. It’s like someone telling me not to worry: just because you said it, doesn’t make it happen. My worrying doesn’t have a nice straightforward off-switch. Telling someone that they don’t need to have a spouse/career/family by a specific point in their life to be a success, doesn’t automatically stop someone from feeling like a failure. Telling someone they’re not fat just makes them focus on the last word you said.
My journey to self-confidence started with realising a number of things, including: (a) what is right for other people isn’t necessarily right for me; (b) focusing on myself isn’t selfish; and (c) being happy with my life just the way it is doesn’t need to be considered ‘settling’. Concentrating on good things and thinking about what made me happy was, inevitably, far more productive than dwelling on the bad stuff. I sometimes blog about things like boosting body confidence and how you shouldn’t get hung up on size, but body (and other) insecurities arise for many different reasons and manifest in a number of ways, so there is no one-size-fits-all solution. The best we can all do is to concentrate on the positive things in our lives, as far as we possibly can. Hopefully this approach will also help the people we come into contact with to break away from their negativity too.