Tradition, not romance

I have never understood how something as seemingly important as marriage could be proposed rather than discussed. I have never understood how people can spend hundreds (often thousands) on an engagement ring rather than, perhaps, an engagement sofa (or car). I have never understood the point of ‘being engaged’. These things may have had a point years ago, but these days it’s just fake romance, tradition and an excuse to spend money on jewellery.

So, you can imagine my shock when I read ‘A man’s guide to marriage: the proposal’ in yesterday’s Guardian. Thankfully there was a brief flurry of sanity in the comments, but I’m still astounded that it appears that a lot of women wait to be asked yet will not let their partner choose a ring to mark the occasion. Seriously? You don’t trust him to choose a diamond you’ll like yet you think he’ll be able to translate your telepathic messages about getting hitched? If you want it, ask… just like you’ll do with the ring.

I only want to get married if it’s legally necessary to do so and, hopefully, by that point civil partnership will be available to all. Either way, I still don’t get the ring thing. Surely wedding tattoos would make much more sense as a true sign of mutual devotion? Or perhaps I just watch too much sci-fi.

2 thoughts on “Tradition, not romance

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  1. I've always found it interesting how people propose completely as a surprise after having spent a fortune on a ring. We discussed getting married for several months before we got engaged and decided it was something we both wanted. The whole concept of not trusting him with choosing a ring but wanting a surprise proposal is ridiculous.

  2. I don't know if that many people really do propose as a complete surprise these days? Surely there must have been some kind of “is marriage something you might fancy” discussion at some point?!

    FWIW I was with my (now) husband for 9 years before we finally decided it made sense to get married. He did propose to me, but he also chose a ring, all on his own. It didn't cost thousands 😀

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