Random thoughts

OK, so I’ve been seriously neglecting my blog. It also appears that I can now only write small snippets rather than long paragraphs, perhaps as a side effect of my Twitter addiction. However, as I was considering possible topics for my blog post of the week, I was saved by an amusing email that pinged into my inbox from the lovely Helen. Sure, it’s a generic format, but these ‘random thoughts from people 20-35 years old’ really made me smile, so I thought I’d share the best ones with you.

• More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.
• Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realise you’re wrong.
• Have you ever been walking down the street and realised that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions.
• Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the “people you may know” feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
• There is a great need for sarcasm font.
• Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realise I had no idea what the f*** was going on when I first saw it.
• How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
• I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
• LOL has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say”.
• I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
• Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.
• How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?
• Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using ‘as in’ examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss’s last name to an attorney and said “Yes that’s G as in… (10 second lapse)… ummm… Goonies”.
• While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.
• I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind-of tired.
• Bad decisions make good stories.
• Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public, I feel like a kid on Christmas morning that just got the present that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!
• You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
• Can we all just agree to ignore Blu-ray? I don’t want to have to restart my DVD collection.
• I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
• “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this ever.
• I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
• When I meet a new girl, I’m terrified of mentioning something she hasn’t already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
• I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
• Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for paedophiles…
• Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
• I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
• The other night I ordered take away and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic cutlery. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fat b@stard before dinner.

Image via Eric Heunthep‘s Flickr photostream.